Make the Sandwich

Nervous writes in:

Man I’m excited and a little nervous. My friend that I known for over 10 years just gave me his grandmas engagement ring to get sized and asked me to be his wife.

I’m nervous because we always had the seinfield/elaine type of relationship. Well we both had a lot of growin up to do. I just don’t want that deep friendship to change. That’s why I’m a liittle nervous about it.

But damn. Its one helluva bling bling ring though.

He told about the ring numerous times, and how he kept special care of it. But I think he feels the same way I do. Scared it will ruin the friendship. Now I’m about to be 32 and he is 33 so I guess we are reaching the turning point.

We both had baby mama and dady drama in our lives. Thinking we are suppose to sacrifice who we really were. Then we both learned how stupid that was. Sigh.

Signed,
Nervous

First of all congrats, for a guy to give you a family heirloom shows that you mean a lot to him. 10 years is a long time to know someone.

The Seinfeld/Elaine dynamic is a little weird. You guys have probably been intimate but have not been attached seriously. Well thats how Elaine and Seinfeld were I think…

As far as the ring is concerned try to look past it and get to the heart of the matter. You mentioned you have known him for 10 years. Also that you are in your early 30s, so you guys pretty much know each other well and who you are…what you like and dislike, etc. I think its a great idea. Although it would add an interesting dynamic to your relationship, I don’t think there is much possibility of damaging the friendship at all.

Usually, being intimate ruins friendships more than anything if there is nothing behind it in the first place. You both have reached a point where its like more about having that life and that good friend around to share it that will cherish you and love you the way you do them.

The both of you should just be willing and accepting of each other if this is what you really want.

CasuAl